Growing moss on stuff

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This is my cat, who doesn't give a f&%$ about moss

So, being a green fairy and all, I like moss. With the exception of food type substances and most clothing, I would pretty much be ok with moss being on everything I own.  Portland happens to be the ultimate moss-growing environment and also happend to have been an actual motivator for the move up here, so I tried whipping up a handy dandy recipe that will grown moss on whatever you want that I have concocted from various websites.  Here it is:

-1 part buttermilk

-2 parts moss spores

-1 part beer

-few teaspoons of sugar

blend all together.

I got this off inhabit.com, apparently you can even make awful bunnies from moss paint.  I'm sorry, I like the intent, but that is one crappy bunny.

Once you are all done, it should resemble something that looks like vomit and smells truly awful.  Brush this on stuff you want moss on and mist with water if it gets dry.

I put this on a bunch of stuff:

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you can't really see it but it is there, and after a few weeks, drumroll please...it has done nothing.  I will keep you updated if it suddenly bursts out with moss, but I'm not holding my breath.  Bet you thought this post would have been a bit more exciting, didn't ya?  Thats what you get for making assumptions.