Hyper-Healthified Quinoa & Hemp Seed Tabouli

someecards.com - Nobody wants to hear about your diet. Just shut up, eat your lettuce, and be sad.

I can practically guarantee that the "ladies who lunch" crowd will shun me for saying the following, but I'm pretty sure they would never take me anyway due to my obsession with plotting for a zombie apocalypse and disdain for designer labels.  Here goes: I hate salad.  It is the worst.  I think I have alluded to such blasphemy before here, and I still regularly force myself to eat it at home, but I refuse to order it as a main course in a restaurant when I could be ordering something that actually tastes good.  Even at home, when I eat a salad for lunch or dinner, I can only eat about half before I push it away in disgust. That said, it is absolutely the healthiest thing in the world, and I have been actively trying to find ways to force myself to find it appealing, like this Kale and Strawberry Salad.

Enter: Tabouli.  One of the few salads I actually LOVE.  And not just because it is usually accompanied by delicious falafel and hummus.  I keep it in the fridge all week and snack on it whenever I want to snack on chips and it usually kicks the craving (and leaves my breath minty fresh). It is typically made with bulgur, a quick-cooking wheat product, however, I added some superfoods instead to make mine a bit healthier, which also makes it gluten-free for those of you that are sensitive.  Quinoa is a great source of protein, iron, fiber, and magnesium, and hemp seeds (or hemp hearts) have easily-digestible protein that contains all nine of the essential amino acids, as well as the perfect 3:1 ratio of Omega-6 and Omega-3s, in addition to Vitamin E and other trace minerals.  Hemp seeds also contain an especially beneficial type of omega-6 fat called GLA, which can improve metabolism and promote fat loss. I use shelled, raw hemp seeds: Navitas Naturals and  Manitoba Harvest  are good brands to try.  Even if you are not a fan of the nutty taste, I couldn't even taste it in the tabouli.

On to the Pictorial recipe: Hemp Seed and Quinoa Tabouli

Amounts approximate, adjust to taste, or feel free to take out entire ingredients (some people also add tomato):

1 cup cooked quinoa

1/2 cup hemp seeds

1 bunch parsley

1 bunch fresh mint

1 small cucumber

Half an onion, preferably sweet

2 lemons

olive oil

1-2 garlic cloves


Start with the cooked quinoa.  Mine was a bit less than a cup, but I prefer a higher greens to grains ration.

I shredded the parsley and mint in a food processor because I like tiny tiny pieces, but if you like bigger chunks (or don't have a food processer) just a quick chop will work as well.

I just went ahead and bought a mint plant because it was actually cheaper than a bunch of mint, and score, I would get a mint plant out of it (sad update: it has since entered the world of the non-living). 

Chop up the cucumber (I used the processor again) and add.

I crushed up two cloves of fresh garlic.

Chop up the onion and add.

And squeeze in some lemon.  I used about 1 1/2 lemons.

Drizzle on some olive oil, about 1-2 tablespoons.

Finally, sprinkle on some hemp hearts and mix together!

Stick it in a cute bowl and shovel that s&$% in your mouth.  You earned it.